


Who's Taking You Home Tonight?

by whatkindoffanfics (orphan_account)



Category: Phan, dan and phil, dan howell phil lester, youtube - Fandom
Genre: AU, Angst, Bletchley Park, Fluff, History, M/M, Songfic, WW2, War, World War Two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-15 09:22:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5780374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/whatkindoffanfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>October, 1944. While World War II rages on, Dan Howell finds himself thrown into the secretive world of Bletchley Park, a headquarters for intercepting and breaking the codes of encrypted German messages.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1 - October 1944

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gospelmikey and iamphanlocked](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=gospelmikey+and+iamphanlocked).



Wednesday, 25th October, 1944, 02:13

  
The train ground to a halt, and Dan grabbed his case. Checking his pocket watch, he noted that it was 2:13 am. Exactly on time. He stepped towards the door of the carriage, peering into the darkness. He took a deep breath, before stepping out onto the platform. It was pitch dark, hardly surprising given the circumstances. Still, he couldn’t help but wish for a lamp or something as the train began to pull away, leaving him alone on the empty platform. He glanced around nervously. He had been told to wait here to be collected, but there was no sign of life. He shivered, pulling his coat tighter. Perhaps they had decided they didn’t need him anymore. He didn’t really understand why they’d offered him this job anyway. Sure, his German was very good, but he had been more than a little awkward during his interview. As in, he was 20 minutes late and,in his rush, managed to knock over his interviewer and his stack of very important government paperwork and couldn’t remember how to even say hello in German. _Typical Dan_ , of course, stuffing every opportunity up. So, naturally, he’d been very shocked to receive a letter calling him back to the German embassy for a meeting about a position they had available for him.  
But now, alone in the dark, Dan figured they’d changed their minds. And of course they would. Why would anyone want to hire a 19 year old boy who was still afraid of the dark?  
A cough behind him made him almost jump out of his skin. He gripped his case tighter and spun around to see a tall man standing there holding a lamp.  
“Daniel James Howell?” He asked.  
Dan shook his head. “I’m Jim. Jim Chapman. I’m here to take you up to the village. Follow me!” He said, turning around and heading off in the direction he came from. Dan followed him quickly, not wanting to be left behind in the dark again.  
“So you’ll be working in translation with me I think?” Jim continued.

“German?” Dan asked.  
“Yeah! Hut 3.”  
“Aren’t we supposed to not talk about it?” Dan said nervously. When he’d accepted the job, he’d been made swear an oath of secrecy, and told that he’d be shot on the spot for treason if he broke the oath.  
“Technically, but we’ll be working together on the same task so it doesn’t really matter. Here’s the village now. You’re billeting with Mrs. Brown, I believe?” He asked. Dan nodded, remembering what the letter had said.

“She lives over the bookshop. Not much business in that now, of course, so she runs it more like a library than anything else. She’s a lovely woman, really. She’s got no one else lodging with her at the moment, though, so you’re on your own. But don’t worry, you’ll get to know people in no time. We’re like a family really, up in the Park. Ah, here we are…”  
Dan glanced up at the red brick house. There was a shop in the front, with a peeling green sign saying “Brown Books” above it. The front door, painted black, was to the left of the building. Jim knocked, and after a moment, the door opened. An elderly woman stood there, peering out.  
“Oh, Jim!” She smiled. “And you must be Daniel. Come in, come in! You must be freezing. I’ll put on some tea.”  
They followed her into the house, and she ushered them to the table. She asked Dan a few questions as she made the tea. Where he was from (Wockingham), about his family (his father was a writer, his mother was a nurse, and he had one brother who was 15), and if he had a girlfriend (none).  
After his second cup, Dan found himself unable to keep his eyes open any more. He tried to stifle a yawn, but it didn’t go unnoticed by Mrs.Brown. “Oh dear, it’s almost four am! And you’ve had such a long journey! Off to bed with you! Tomorrow is Sunday, and Jim tells me you’ll have the morning off to get settled! Il show you to your room now. Jim, love, you know your own way.”  
“Thanks Mrs brown. See you tomorrow, Dan!” Jim said, waving goodbye as Mrs. Brown beckoned Dan up the stairs. She showed him to his room. He put his case on the bed and glanced around.  
“It belongs to my eldest, but he’s off with the RAF.” She smiled proudly.  
“What about Mr. Brown?” He asked. Her face fell.  
“He died in the First World War.” She said. “Shot on the battlefield.”  
“Oh!” Dan turned red. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-”  
“It’s alright dearie. You didn’t know. Now, it will cost 50p a week for the room, and another half crown if you’ll be wanting feeding. Did you remember your own rations book?” She asked. Dan nodded. “Good lad. Now, off to bed with you! You’ve a busy few days ahead!” She said, smiling. Dan thanked her, and she left, closing the door behind her. Now that he had a chance, he took a proper look around his room. Dark blackout blinds covered the window, which faced out onto the street. There was a small dresser with a potted plant on top of it. The bed was a single one, with an old but warm looking quilt on it. Dan smiled as he sat down. _Maybe it won’t be so bad here after all._ He’d been worried about taking the job in Bletchley, in case he wasn’t good enough, and they sent him home. And if he went home, he’d have to join the army, the navy or the RAF, as was expected of a young man of his age. And he was terrified. He was never good with physical activity, and training would be awful. No, the best way to serve his country, he’d decided, would be to use his brain.  
He changed into his pyjamas and settled into bed.  
And Jim seemed nice. A bit chatty, but Dan didn’t mind. It was nice that he had someone around his own age to work with. _Yes, things are looking up already,_ he thought, and with a smile on his face, Dan fell sound asleep. 

* * *

Thursday, 26th October, 1944. 10:00

Tap. Tap.  
Dan’s eyes fluttered open, and he groaned.  
Tap.  
“What the-” he sat up, rubbing his eyes.  
Tap.  
He swung his legs over the side of the bed and wandered over to the window. Pulling up the blind, he winced in the bright sunlight.  
“Danny Boy!” A voice cried up at him from below. He glanced down to see Jim waving at him. He was with two other people, a man and a woman. “Come on out! We’re gonna show you around!”  
Grinning, Dan hurriedly got dressed, pulling on trousers and a button up shirt, and putting on a sweater. He laced up his shoes and ran down the stairs. “Morning Mrs. Brown!” He said as he passed the living room, where she sat listening to the wireless.  
“Oh, good morning Daniel! There’s porridge in the kitchen.”  
“Thank you, but Jim is here, he’s going to show me around!”  
“Oh, well off you go then! Have fun!” She waved him goodbye, and he left the house.  
“Sleep well?” Chris said as he joined him and the others on the path. Dan nodded. “Good! This is PJ Ligouri. He works in translation too, but Italian. And this is Louise Pentland. She works in our hut too.”  
“Nice to meet you both.” Dan smiled shyly.  
PJ reached out to shake Dan’s hand, and Dan shook back. He was tall, but still shorter than Dan, with curly brown hair and bright green eyes. Louise, on the other hand, grabbed Dan into a hug.  
“I’m so happy to meet you! It’ll be nice having another pair of hands around!” She grinned. Dan immediately decided he liked her. She had long curly blonde hair that she wore loose, very unlike all the other girls Dan knew. She had a very mischievous smile too.  
“Right, let’s head on over to the Park, shall we?” Jim said. “We’re gonna give you the grand tour. Show you the ropes and whatnot.”  
The walk to Bletchley was not a long one, Dan discovered, if you knew where the shortcut was. Jim and PJ walked ahead, while Dan walked with Louise. She told him all about her home by the sea, and her boyfriend who was in the Navy.  
“Have you a girl back home?” She asked him. Dan shook his head, and she laughed. “No problem, we’ll find you someone! My best friend, Zoe, she’s got a man… And Tanya is seeing Jim now… And Hazel has a boy waiting for her back in Ireland… Oh dear. Well, I’m sure you’ll see someone! There’s lots of lovely girls up in Bletchley…”  
Dan had stopped listening, as they had reached their destination. They stood before a very large set of gates. Two armed guards stood on either side. Jim turned around, handing Dan a card.  
“Here’s your pass to get in and out. Don’t lose it!” He said. Then, he showed his own to the guard nearest him, who nodded and let him pass. The others followed him, and so did Dan.  
Once he was through, he gazed in shock at the manor that stood before him.  
“I know, it’s horrendous isn’t it?” Louise laughed, taking in Dan’s expression.  
“N-no, it’s just…” Dan stuttered.  
“The ugliest building you’ve ever seen?” PJ offered.  
“Big.” Dan finished. Louise snorted.  
“I hope your German is better than your English.” She said. Dan blushed.  
“Sorry.” He muttered.  
First, they took him to see the Lake. “At Christmas, there’s usually enough ice that you can skate.” Jim told him. Next, he was shown the dining rooms and the kitchens, which were located inside of the manor. The hallways were dim, and Dan noticed that all the rooms were full of people at desks, scribbling furiously or on the telephone. A group of men in Army uniforms walked past.  
“This is where the military personal work.” Louise whispered. “Lots of yummy men in uniform.” Dan couldn’t help but smile, as Louise wiggled her eyebrows at him. “MI6 use the upstairs part of the mansion. Not sure what for.” she continued.  
“How do you know all this?” Dan whispered back.  
“Before I had the job in Hut 3, I used to run messages back and forth. Then they realised I knew enough German to actually be useful.”  
“Aren’t you supposed to keep it all secret?”  
“Yeah, but seeing as you’ll be working in Hut 3, it’s not like the whole code breaking thing will be a secret to you.” She shrugged.  
“Well, here’s the kitchens!” Jim said, pointing to a doorway. “Come in for a minute, I want to introduce you to Margaret.” He said, leading Dan inside.  
An older woman came over to them, smiling broadly. Dan guessed she was probably in her early fifties.  
“Well, if it isn’t Jim. Haven’t seen you for a few days! How are you? And how is Tanya?” She said to Jim.  
“She’s doing well!” Jim answered her.  
“Good, good. Oh! Who’s this young lad!” She asked.  
“Dan. Dan Howell.” Dan said, holding out his hand. She shook it.  
“Well it’s nice to meet you. If you’re ever in need of an extra scone, come find me.” She winked, before returning to her work.  
“Why did you introduce me to her?” Dan asked Jim as they left the kitchen.  
“She’s friends with my mother, so she slips me and any of my friends extra goodies sometimes. You’ll be glad of it when we have long shifts.” He grinned. “Now, next stop, Hut 2!”  
“What’s in there?”  
“The most important part of the entire tour.” He laughed.

An hour later, Dan found himself sitting at a table, nursing a cup of tea and generally feeling content. Hut 2, as it had turned out, was sort of a recreation centre, with teas and beers, and a few games scattered around. PJ had been called back to Hut 5 to help with some Italian translation. Louise was talking to Jim, and his girlfriend Tanya, whom Dan had now been introduced to, about their upcoming trip to London. Looking around the room, he could see a multitude of groups of friends, and happy couples sitting together and enjoying their breaks. _You could almost forget there’s a war on_ , he thought. _I think this job is going to be quite alright. Sure beats factory work or joining the army anyway._  
“C'mon, Dan. I’ve one more place to show you before our shifts start!” Louise said, beckoning him to follow her as she left Jim and Tanya alone.  
“Where are we going now?” He asked, catching up as she led him towards the buildings he’d been shown earlier.  
“The hut behind ours, Hut 6. We work really closely with them, and there’s one other person you’ve yet to meet.”  
“Another girl?” He grumbled. So far, Louise had introduced him to all the girls she could find that she knew. She just laughed in response. They reached do the wooden hut, and she knocked on the door.  
“What now Ja- Louise!” A voice said as the door cracked open. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I thought you were Jack, he’s been bugging me all day for things! What brings you here? You’re not on duty until 4 right? Is something wrong?”  
“No, Phil. Quick social call. There’s someone I’d like you to meet.” Louise said, indicating towards Dan. A man stepped out of the doorway into view, and Dan could see who the voice belonged to. A tall man now stood in front of him, looking at him with curiosity. He wore a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of thick rimmed glasses. His hair was pushed back messily from his forehead, and it was obvious that he had been running his fingers through it. Altogether, he looked completely dishevelled, and Dan couldn’t help but think he was the most captivating man he’d ever seen.  
“Hello. I’m Phil. Phil Lester. It’s so nice to meet you.” He spoke, extending his hand outwards towards Dan. Dan reached out and shook it gingerly, glancing upwards to take in Phil’s face. He was beaming at Dan, his tongue poking out slightly. But as their eyes met, Dan froze. His eyes were the most striking shade of blue Dan had ever seen, a stark contrast to his own brown. They appeared almost sky blue, with rings of cloudy grey nearer his pupil, and Dan noticed that they were studying his almost as intently.  
“Dan Howell.” He said quickly, becoming aware of his surroundings again as Phil dropped the handshake. “A pleasure to meet you.” He added, not wanting to sound impolite.  
“Alright. Well, I’d better get back to work. I get off at half ten tonight?” He said to Louise.  
“Our shift ends at ten. Shall we meet up?” She replied.  
“Il meet you in Hut 2.” Phil smiled. “See you then. Nice to meet you again, Dan.”  
Dan felt his face flush as Phil beamed at him again. “Y-yes.” He stammered, as Phil disappeared back into the Hut and closed the door again.  
“Are you alright Dan? You look a bit ill.” Louise said as they walked away.  
“Huh? No, I’m fine.” I think. “Phil seems nice.”  
“He’s lovely. A bit of a dreamer, a complete romantic but for the life of me I can’t get him to go on a date. He focuses too much on his work. I mean, being a cryptanalyst is an important role, but he hardly has a social life. I’m surprised he asked to meet later, if I’m honest.” She said.  
“Really?”  
“Yes, I don’t really understand it. He’s very handsome, he could have any girl he wanted really.” She continued.  
“Right.” _He is very handsome, I must admit._ Dan thought. “So he’s a cryptanalyst?”  
“Yeah. He cracks the codes, and then we translate them.” She smiled at him. “Very important work, Daniel. I hope you’re ready to win this war.” 

* * *

Thursday, 26th October, 1944, 21:15

Dan was exhausted. He was sitting at the table again in Hut 2, except this time he was nursing a beer. He was alone again, but he was happy that way. For the last six hours, he had translated so many German messages into English, and not a single one had anything significant in it. Louise had told him as they’d left their desks that it had been a typical night, and that he’d eventually realise how monotonous the work really was. “But when you think about it, a quiet day is a good day. It means we’re doing okay.” She’d told him. Despite how boring the work had been, it had been tiring. Dan wasn’t sure he could speak English anymore, after reading so much German. So instead of trying to socialise, he sat back and observed. Jim and Alfie were playing darts, while Tanya, Louise, Zoe and Hazel sat together talking about Hazel’s upcoming wedding. It had been nice to meet all the others, and they all seemed lovely, but he really needed some quiet time. _What a busy day._ He mused. _I can’t wait to go home and get into bed. I wonder would I seem rude if I got up now to g-_  
“Can I sit here?” A voice said, interrupting his thoughts. He glanced up to see Phil standing at the chair opposite him.  
“S-sure.” Dan said, nodding. Phil smiled, pulling out the chair and sitting down.  
“All alone?” He asked. Dan nodded.  
“I’m really tired. Today has been…”  
“Overwhelming?” Phil offered.  
“Yes. A bit.” Dan laughed. “I’ve met so many people, been shown around, worked a six hour shift…”  
“I remember my first day here. It was really different. I just got yelled at by a man in a uniform about secrecy and got sent straight to work.” Phil chuckled.  
“Seriously?”  
“Seriously. I’ve been here almost since the beginning, so there wasn’t anyone here to show me around.”  
“Oh. So you aren’t local then?” Dan asked.  
“Not at all. I actually come from a town in Lancashire.” He replied.  
“You don’t sound very northern?”  
“I went to university in Oxford.” He explained.   
“Oh, okay. What did you study?” Dan asked. So he’s handsome and smart. _The perfect man._ He thought. Louise was right to be confused. _How is he single?_  
“English and Mathematics.” He replied. “What about you? Have you been to university?”  
“No. I was planning to study Law at Cambridge after school, but seeing as we’re in the middle of a war, I’ve postponed education for now.”  
“ _Hinc lucem et pocula sacra._ ” Phil said quietly.  
“Pardon?”  
“It’s Cambridge’s motto. It means ‘From here, light and sacred draughts.’, I believe.”  
“Oh. Right.”  
“I’m sorry. I know quite a lot of useless facts. Once you’ve known me a while, you’ll get used to me spitting out a fact at seemingly random moments or inappropriate times.” He chuckled. “I’m also a sucker for puns.”  
“Anything else I should know?” Dan asked.  
“I’m allergic to milk?” Phil shrugged.  
“Really?”  
“Yeah. Dairy makes me sick.”  
“That’s awful. What do you put in your tea?”  
“Milk.”  
“But you just said…”  
“I use it anyway.” He grinned. “So, tell me about yourself?”  
“Well, I was born in Wockingham, my dad is a-”  
“No, no.” Phil interrupted. “Not the boring stuff. Your interests and hobbies. You said you wanted to study Law… Why?”  
“Oh. Well, because… Because I… Uhm…”  
“You don’t know, do you?” He said. Dan shook his head. “What do you really want to study?” Dan was quiet for a moment. _Should I tell him?_  
“I… I want to be an actor.” He said after a few moments.  
“Why were you so hesitant to tell me that? I think that’s wonderful.” Phil beamed.  
“I’ve never told anyone that before.” Dan said shyly.  
“Do you want to be a stage actor or are you looking to star in one of those big-screen films?” Phil asked earnestly.  
“I don’t think I care much either way. Maybe the big screen…” Dan smiled.

Conversation flowed easily between the two, and Dan was disappointed when they realised it was almost midnight, and the hut was closing up for the night.  
“Where are you staying?” Phil asked, as they stood outside in the cool September night air.  
“Mrs. Browns? She owns-”  
“The bookstore. I know it well.” Phil finished.  
“Yes. So, suppose we should get home?” Dan asked.  
“Actually, I was wondering if you would like me to walk you home?” Phil asked, before quickly adding “I mean, it’s your first night here, we don’t want you getting lost.”  
“Alright.” Dan nodded, smiling.  
As they walked, Phil pointed out the constellations above them that he knew the names of, telling Dan the stories behind them. He told Dan about his older brother, who was in the RAF, and how his father was a schoolteacher. His mother worked as a waitress in a local coffee shop. He had two dogs and a cat, which he was also allergic to. He loved to read, and listen to music.  
As Phil talked, Dan listened, and tried to ignore the weird feeling he was beginning to get whenever Phil laughed. He put it down to fatigue, and was glad to see the front door of Mrs. Brown’s.  
“Well, thank you for walking me home. I’ll know my own way tomorrow.” He said.  
“It’s alright. It was my pleasure. I enjoyed talking to you, Dan.” Phil replied, looking into Dans face. Feeling his pulse quicken as he gazed back into Phil’s blue eyes, Dan quickly shook his head, reaching for the key in his pocket.  
“Goodnight, Phil.” He said, standing in the open doorway.  
“Goodnight, Dan.” Phil replied. He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned to walk away.  
“Wait, Phil!” Dan heard himself say. Phil spun around, eyebrows raised. “Umm… I just, I ah… Will I see you tomorrow?”  
“Probably. We do work together, essentially.” he grinned.  
“Oh, yeah. Right. Sorry.” Dan muttered. Stupid.  
“It’s alright. I know I’m a lot of fun to be around. It’s hard to stay away from me for a long time without feeling withdrawal symptoms.” Phil winked. Dan blushed. They stood in silence for a moment, before Phil shook his head. “Okay. I’m going now. Goodnight, Dan.”  
“Goodnight, Phil.” Dan whispered, more to himself than anything, as he watched the other man walk away. Closing the door gently behind him, Dan released a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. _Why am I so awkward?_ he thought to himself, making his way quietly up the stairs. _I just embarrassed myself so much. Phil probably thinks I’m really strange now._  
Not that that would bother me. He said to himself as he changed into pyjamas and climbed into bed.  
_Except that it would._ He thought again. _Why am I so flustered over it all?_ Sighing, he leaned over, switching off the lamp beside his bed. No matter. It’s more than likely from all the excitement. _I met so many wonderful people today, Phil is only one of them. I was just flustered because I was tired._  
Yes.  He smiled to himself, closing his eyes. Just tired.

_Tomorrow, I’ll be back to normal._

* * *

Friday, 27th October 1944, 08:05.

The next morning, Dan woke up to a knock on the door.  
“Daniel? There’s someone at the door for you.” Mrs. Brown said.  
“Huh? Oh. Thank you!” He called back, glancing at the clock on the wall. It was only half seven. Groaning, he rolled out of the bed, and pulled his case out from under it. Pulling on a pair of beige trousers and a clean shirt, his thoughts wandered to the previous day. He smiled at the knowledge that he would be seeing his new friends again today. Jim, Louise, PJ, Phil…  
_Phil._  
The thought of seeing Phil again made his heart beat a little quicker. _It’s strange,_ he thought. _It had been a long time since he’d felt so… so what?_ Frowning, Dan looked in the mirror. His hair had formed into a messy bunch of curls that hung over his forehead. Sighing, he tried in vain to work his comb through them. _I wonder what it is about Phil that has me so excited. It’s not as if I haven’t gotten along with anyone else I’ve met. Louise and I have really clicked. But there’s something about Phil that’s different. I feel as though he could well become one of my good friends._  
Satisfied with his appearance, he hurried downstairs to the front door. Louise was waiting outside with a huge grin on her face.  
“Morning sleepy-head. Ready for a fun-filled day of reading German?” she said as they began to walk.  
“Mmm.” Dan muttered. “Fun filled? Hah. You’re hilarious.”  
“I know, I know. Anyway, I saw you leaving with Phil yesterday. What do you think of him?” She said. “He’s great right?”  
“He’s really interesting.” Dan mumbled. “He seems to know a lot.”  
“Yeah, he’s very smart. He did go to Oxford, after all. He usually sticks to himself though. He must have taken a shine to you, if he walked you home.” she smiled. Dan felt his cheeks redden.  
“Oh, well, I suppose we just had a lot in common.” he stammered.  
“Hey, no need to be embarrassed about it. It’s good. I knew you two would get along. I have a sixth sense about that sort of thing, you know? Did you know that I set Zoe and Alfie up? It’s like a gift.” she babbled. Dan smiled, but it faltered when he saw they were approaching the gates.  
“Time for work, I guess,” he said.  
“Don’t worry. In eight hours, we’re free again. Hopefully it’ll be another quiet day…”

Seven hours later, Dan was sitting at his desk in the cramped hut, quietly sorting through pages and scribbling down their translations, looking for anything important, when Jim suddenly stood up.  
“I have something!” he said. “It’s plans for an ambush by the Germans! We need to get more communications from this enemy base! Louise, quick, go get the commander. Hazel, send a message to the listening stations. Dan, run across to Hut 6 and find out who got these messages and where they came from! Quick, quick!”  
Springing to his feet, Dan grabbed a copy of the messages and hurried over to the other hut. He burst through the door, receiving sharp glares from some of those inside.  
“Dan?” He heard a familiar voice say, and he saw Phil standing up from a table with a strange looking machine on it.  
“Jim found something. There’s an… an ambush being planned, we need to see more communications to and from this enemy base!” Dan said frantically, waving the sheets around. Phil went to him, taking a look at the pages.  
“Chris, I think these came from your machine. Have you got anything else?” he said, turning around and walking over to another man, bending over to look at his machine. Chris, Dan supposed, began grabbing at pages around him, muttering.  
“I don’t know, Phil, I can’t bloody read these.” he said.  
“Dan.” Phil said. “Come here.” Dan swallowed, feeling a tug in his stomach at Phil sounding so commanding. He hurried over to the table, and Phil shoved a pile of messages at him. “Read these. Is there anything else important here?”  
Dan skimmed his eyes over the pages, shaking his head. “No, I don’t think so… Wait.” He said, eyes falling across a message. “This. It just says Mozartstraβe, siebzehn Uhr. Is this from the same base?” he said. Phil took it back, before nodding.  
“What does is mean?”  
“It just means Mozart street, at 7 pm. But alongside that other message…”  
“It’s the time and location of the ambush mentioned in the other message.” Phil finished, nodding. “Okay. Bring these back to your Hut. Has someone gone for a commander?”  
“Yes, Louise…”  
“She should be back by now. Quick. Hopefully we can contact the army units in time.” Phil said, running his hand through his hair. “Go on, go!”  
Dan wasted no time, arriving back at his Hut with the paperwork to find one of the commanding officers, Brown, waiting. After explaining the messages, he sent a telegraph to London. Then, the wait began.

After what seemed like forever, a messenger burst into the room, gripping a telegraph.  
“It’s okay.” Commander Brown said, after scanning the message. “They had been planning to use the Mozartstraβe route to move supplies to another unit, but now they won’t. Well done everyone. You not only saved a lot of costly supplies, but also lives.” He nodded at them, before turning and leaving the room. Dan breathed a sigh of relief. Louise turned to him, smiling.  
“Day two, and you got to see what an exciting day is like here.” she said.  
“I think I prefer the mundane ones now.” Dan chuckled.  
“Well, our shifts are over now. Shall we head to Hut 2? I feel like we all need a break.”  
“Yes. I’m bloody starving.” Jim said, putting his arms around their shoulders. They walked together, joking and laughing, and Dan felt pride swelling in his chest. He’d actually made a difference today.  
Once inside, Dan sat at the table, which he noted had already become his usual spot, with a cup of tea between his hands and a feeling of anticipation in his stomach. _Where is Phil?_ he thought.. Around him, his new friends were chatting about what they thought life would be like after the war, but he didn’t join in. Instead, he sipped his tea quietly and kept his eyes on the door.  
And then suddenly, the door opened and Phil appeared. He met Dan’s eyes and winked, before heading to make himself a cup of tea. Dan dropped his gaze back to his cup of tea and felt his cheeks heat up. _Now he definitely thinks you’re nuts,_ he thought to himself, stirring his drink and sighing.  
“Long day?” a voice above him said, and he glanced up. Phil was standing across from him, tea in one hand and a scone in the other, grinning ear to ear. Dan couldn’t suppress his own smile.  
“Just a little too exciting for my liking, yeah.” he said.  
“Ah, but what’s life without a bit of drama, hmm?” Phil laughed, before shoving the scone in his mouth. Dan chuckled at the sight of him, trying to hold the entire cake in his mouth so that he could pull the chair out with his now free hand, all while trying not to drop his tea.  
“Speaking of drama,” Phil began, now settled into his seat, “are you going to try out for this year’s Christmas play? I think they’re putting on a version of Romeo and Juliet.”  
“No, no, I wasn’t planning on it.” Dan said, shaking his head.  
“Why not? I thought you wanted to be an actor? Besides,” he smirked, “I think you’d fit the role of Juliet perfectly.”  
“Why, because one would easily mistake me for a woman?” Dan scowled, crossing his arms. “As if I haven’t heard that one before.”  
“No,” Phil said, calmly sipping his tea. “because you deserve a lead role, but they’ve already cast Romeo.”  
Dan felt his cheeks flush again. “Oh, I-” he began, but Phil interrupted him.  
“I have another shift in a couple of hours, I’ve to cover for one of the other lads, but if you want, I could show you one of the bombe machines?” he said, before draining his mug.  
“B-bombe machines?” Dan asked.  
“You know, the machine we use to decipher the codes. I’ll show you how it works, if you want.”  
“I- ah-” Dan stuttered, still blushing.  
“It’s alright if you don’t want to. I know not everyone finds machines and ciphers as interesting as I do.” Phil smiled sadly.  
“No!” Dan said, louder than he intended. _Whoa, okay, a tad too enthusiastic, perhaps?_ he thought, as other people turned and looked. He ducked his head, face burning yet again. “No, I, uh, I’d love to see it.”  
“Brilliant!” Phil beamed at him, not looking at all fazed by the sudden outburst from the younger man. “Come on then, let’s go!”  
Phil led him into one of the huts around the back, which he explained were used for holding spare machines in case one of the main ones broke. “These aren’t as up to date as the ones we’re using in Hut 6, but they do the same job. Do you know how the codes are, well, coded?” he asked Dan, who shook his head.  
“I know it’s called an Enigma machine, but…” Dan said, and Phil’s eyes lit up, obviously excited to explain how the system worked.  
“So you see these dials here? They’re used to reverse the work that the Enigma did…”

Almost an hour later, and Dan had long since stopped listening to what Phil was saying. His mind had drifted off to another place, one where he lay in the long grass, gazing into a blue sky and listening to that same voice, no worries, no fears, and no war - just him and Phil.  
“Dan? Are you still listening? Have I bored you?” Phil asked suddenly, and Dan came crashing back into reality.  
“Huh, uh, yeah, of course! It’s really interesting, honestly, I love hearing you ta- uh, keep going.” he replied. Phil gave him a small smile before continuing. Dan sighed. He still wasn’t listening to Phil- his senses were focused on the man himself, as opposed to his words. HIs eyes studied him, following the shape of his jawline and the curve of his nose, taking in the way his eyes were lit up, and how his lips moved, forming the words he spoke. Focusing on Phil’s mouth a little too long, Dan bit his lip. He couldn’t ignore the knot growing in his stomach. Still gnawing his lip, his eyes found their way back up to Phil’s, who was now silent again, looking back at Dan. Dan jumped a bit, and Phil chuckled.  
“Everything alright, Dan? Is there something on my mouth?” he chuckled. Dan felt his cheeks flaming.  
“N-no. Must have just spaced out for a moment, sorry. You were saying?” he said hurriedly.  
“I was finished explaining it. I have to go back to work my next shift now, but I was asking if you would be around later? There’s a darts tournament in one of the local pubs, Louise is dragging me along, she’ll probably say it to you too. You should come.” he smiled.  
“Oh, uh, sure, why not?” Dan said.  
“Alright then. Um, goodbye for now then.” Phil said, leaving the room with a little wave. Dan released his breath. _Oh fuck._ He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. _Something is definitely happening to me. Phil is happening. Oh dear. Fuck._ Mind racing, he headed back towards Hut 2, in the hopes Louise would be around to distract him.

Thankfully, she was, but when a few hours later he found himself sitting in a stuffy old pub, anxiously watching the door for the second time that day, the feeling of panic came back to him. _Do I… Am I… I mean I’ve never loved a woman before… But I have never been in love with a man either. Is it possible? Perhaps I am just mistaken. Maybe this is how friendship should feel? No… I don’t feel like this around Louise…_  
“Hey guys!” Phil’s voice caught his attention, and he looked up to see the older man putting a pint down on the table and taking his seat. “Ready to watch some great darts? Jim entered, didn’t you?”  
“Of course, I’ll be the next champion.” Jim chuckled.  
“Jim, you can’t play darts at all!” Tanya exclaimed, and everyone laughed. Dan felt himself relaxing a bit, putting the thoughts of his apparent feelings for Phil far into the back of his mind, and tried his best to enjoy himself. 

* * *

Saturday, 28th October, 1944, 00:00

As it turned out, Jim was very good at darts, and managed to come fourth in the tournament, surprising everyone in the process. As midnight passed, they decided it was time to go, and as Dan got up to leave, so did Phil. “I’ll walk you home again, if you want.” he said, catching Dan’s arm. Feeling his stomach flip, Dan hesitated. _Is this a good idea?_ He asked himself, but nodded anyway. Smiling warmly, Phil announced his departure, wishing the others a good night. Louise caught Dan’s eye, raising an eyebrow, but said nothing.  
Once outside, the cold October air made Dan shiver, and Phil must have noticed, because he handed Dan his scarf without saying a word. Dan wrapped it around his neck, trying to ignore the fact that it smelt strongly of, well, _Phil._ They walked without saying anything for a while, Phil humming quietly, and Dan worrying that Phil would actually be able to hear his heart pounding when their arms brushed together.  
“Halloween is coming up.” Phil said suddenly, breaking the silence between them.  
“Yeah, it is. I like Halloween.” Dan said. “It reminds me of trick or treating as a child.”  
“I still go trick or treating sometimes.” Phil laughed.  
“Really? But you’re…” Dan trailed off.  
“23. But why would I turn down the opportunity to get free sweets and apples?”  
“Do people even give them to you?”  
“Sometimes. You just have to know where to go. There’s this old lady where I lived and she didn’t care what your age was or what you were wearing, as long as you sang a bit of God Save the King for her. She was weird.” he sighed. “I miss home sometimes.” he said. “I’ve been here so long, and it’s been ages since I last got a day’s leave to go visit. Usually my days off are trips over to London.”  
“We get days off?” Dan asked.  
“Of course. Not many, but you can ask for them in advance. I usually take mine around my birthday, or Valentines’ Day.” Phil smiled.  
“Why then?”  
“I’m not really sure. I like the atmosphere around London that day. Everything just seems a little better. Rose tinted. For one day a year, people are focused on their love for eachother, instead of on the war.” he shrugged.  
“Oh. That wasn’t… what I expected.” Dan said. Phil just chuckled.  
“People always assume I’m a cynic when it comes to romance, because I’ve never shown any interest in anyone. But I’m not. I just haven’t found the right, eh, person. So call me crazy, but I enjoy Valentine's’ Day, even though I’m single. But what about you?”  
“Well, uh, I’m not really sure. I haven’t really ever been in love, so I can’t say.” Dan mumbled.  
“I was in love once. It didn’t last long.” Phil said. Dan stayed quiet, instead glancing sideways at Phil, who was squinting up into the dark sky and frowning. He felt a tug in his chest. _Who hurt him, I wonder? What girl wouldn’t love someone like him?_ he thought. Phil, hearing his sigh, looked back at him, forcing a smile. “It’s all in the past now though.”  
They walked side by side in silence the rest of the way, Phil lost in his own thoughts, and Dan desperately wishing that his own would go away.  
Later that night, Dan lay in bed, tossing and turning, finding himself unable to sleep. His brain was running on overdrive, hundreds of thoughts churning in his mind at once. _Do I fancy him? I’d never be able to be with him in public, it’s indecent. Illegal. And I’m not a homosexual. Or at least, I thought I wasn’t. Maybe I am? What would my mother say? What would my father think? Does any of that even matter? What about him? What would he do, if he knew what I was thinking? Would he run away? I can’t ever let on. I’ll just let it pass. Yes, that’s it. It’s just a phase. It’ll pass. I am not falling in love with Phil Lester. I’m not falling in love._


	2. Part 2 - December 1944

Wednesday, December 13th, 1944. 11:30

Days became weeks, and weeks became months, and soon enough it was December. Dan had thrown himself into working on the play, auditioning for and winning the role of Mercutio. His mornings were spent working, afternoons practicing his lines, and evenings were spent with friends, either in Hut 2, or down in the local pub. And every night, Phil would walk him home, and they would talk, and Dan would find himself falling more and more in love with Phil. He kept trying to keep his feelings from affecting his friendship with Phil, but he was finding it more and more difficult. He blushed more, laughed more, and felt genuinely happier than he had ever felt. He tried his best to keep it a secret, but eventually, someone figured it out.

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Dan turned around to see Louise, red faced and grinning, bundled up in her winter coat, standing behind him.   
“What is it?” he asked. “I’m supposed to be rehearsing my lines!”   
“Oh, pish posh. The lake is finally frozen over! We’re going ice skating! Come on!” she giggled, grabbing his coat off the table behind her, and tossing it to him.  
“I don’t know how to ice-skate…” he said, unsure. She shook her head.  
“Then we’ll teach you! You have to come along, this is tradition! We go ice-skating every Christmas.. You’ll love it!” she exclaimed, spinning around and marching out, leaving Dan to catch up.  
“Is Phil coming?” Dan asked, jogging up beside her and pulling his coat on.   
“Of course you want to know if he’s coming.” Louise rolled her eyes.   
“W-what do you mean?” Dan asked, freezing up.   
“You two are joined at the hip. I’ve never seen Phil click with anyone like that before. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone click with anyone like that before.” she said. Dan shifted uncomfortably where he stood. Louise stopped walking, turning to face him again. “Are you alright, Dan?”   
“Yeah, I just, uh, thought I dropped something…” he said, shaking his head. She raised an eyebrow at him.   
“It’s alright, you know. I know how you feel about him.” she said.   
“I- ah, I don’t know what you mean.” Dan stammered, feeling his face flushing. Fuck.  
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. I think it’s cute, how flustered you get around him. And don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul. Just be careful honey, don’t trust anyone else with this secret.”  
“Um, thank you, but I still don’t know what you’re talking about.” he said, still blushing.  
“Alright.” she smirked. “I believe you. Now come on, we have ice-skating to do.”  
 _Is it really that obvious? Maybe I should talk to her about it. She says she’s okay with it, it might be good to get it off my chest… No. I’m still hoping it’s a phase, it I talk about it, it’ll just make it real. I’ll just stay quiet. She can think what she wants._ Dan thought to himself, walking alongside her again, nibbling his lip. They reached the lake soon enough, and to Dan’s delight, Phil was nowhere to be seen yet. Jim approached him, brandishing a pair of skates. He offered them to Dan.   
“I can’t skate.” he said, handing them over. “I hurt my ankle last night, slipped on some ice on my walk home. You can borrow them.”   
“Thanks. I’ve never skated before though.” Dan said, holding the skates gingerly, eyeing up the blade on them. “These don’t look like safe footwear.”   
“Don’t worry. Louise’ll teach you!” Jim laughed. “Oh look, here’s Phil and Hazel now. Afternoon!” he said cheerfully, waving. Dan looked sideways to where he waved, seeing Phil and Hazel laughing together. He frowned.  
“She’s engaged.” Louise said behind him, startling him. “But of course, you’re not jealous, why would you be?” she raised her eyebrows. Dan shook his head.  
“Hey guys. And lady!” Phil said, reaching them.   
“Hazel!” Louise said. “Let’s go!”  
“But I thought you were going to teach me how to skate?” Dan asked, panicking a bit at the idea of being left to fend for himself.  
“Oh no, you’ll be fine. Phil will teach you!” Louise grinned, pulling Hazel away. Dan scowled, turning back to Phil, who was smiling.  
“C’mon then, get your skates on!” he chuckled.   
“You were just waiting for the opportunity to use that one, weren’t you?” Dan said, struggling not to laugh.  
“It was a good one!” he exclaimed, before dropping onto the ground to put on his own skates. Dan joined him. After struggling with the second boot for quite a while, Phil had to help him out. “You’re like Cinderella.” Phil had laughed, sliding Dan’s foot into the shoe, and Dan had just crossed his arms, blushing with embarrassment.

Boots finally on, Dan walked, with a lot of difficulty, to the edge of the lake. Phil slid onto the ice first, then took Dan’s hands, guiding him onto the slippery surface. Knees wobbling, Dan shrieked as Phil pulled him out further. “Now, one leg forward, come on, then the other…” Phil said, and Dan followed the instructions carefully, until he felt stable enough. “Alright, I’m going to let go now, are you ready?” Phil asked. Dan nodded, and Phil let go, leaving Dan to try out his balance. He made a step forward, then another, and then another.  
“I’m doing it! This isn’t so bad!” he said, skating towards Phil again.   
“Well done, Dan!” Phil clapped, skating out of his way.   
“I thought I’d be totally cr- agh!” Dan cried, feeling his legs go out from under him. He landed with a loud thud on his back.  
“Dan!” Phil called, skating quickly to his side. He knelt down , helping him to sit up. “Are you alright?” he asked, voice full of concern.   
“A bit sore… Everything is a bit dizzy…” Dan mumbled, wincing. “But I’m okay. Help me up.”  
Phil lifted Dan, making sure he was well supported.   
“I think you’ve had enough of ice-skating for now. Let’s get you back on the shore.” Phil said, gently guiding Dan back to the edge of the lake, as he clung to him like a child, afraid to fall again.   
“Sorry, Phil.” Dan mumbled again, letting out a sharp breath as he sat down.  
“You’re in pain.” Phil said.   
“I’m alright. I’ll probably be a bit bruised, but it’s nothing serious.”   
“Are you sure? I’m going to go get Louise, wait here.” he said, standing up and skating back out onto the lake, over to where Louise was skating with the rest of their friends. Dan shifted around, trying to get comfortable. When Louise arrived, she poked and prodded at him, asking questions about his vision and his speech. When she decided he was sufficiently healthy, she sent Phil back out to get Jim so that he could help support Dan on the way home. Phil skated off, and Dan watched after him, a small smile on his lips.  
“So, still don’t know what I’m talking about?” Louise said quietly.  
“Alright, fine. Maybe I am falling for him.” Dan replied. “After admitting that, I’m not so sure there isn’t something wrong with my head.” he sighed.  
“Don’t say that. There’s nothing wrong with it. Phil’s an attractive man, and he obviously cares an awful lot about you.” she said, glancing after Phil too. “I wonder…”   
“Wonder what?” Dan asked.  
“Well, he’s never shown any interest in any of the girls I’ve tried to introduce him to, but when I introduced him to you, he changed.” she explained. “The Phil you know is not the Phil I knew. He was always so quiet and reserved, and he would rarely come along with us when we went places. But since you’ve arrived… “ she trailed off.  
“Oh.” Dan said softly.  
“Are you alright, Dan?” Jim said, arriving with Phil.   
“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit sore.” he laughed.  
“Come on then, let’s get you home. You’ll be fine in the morning. Sore, but less disorientated.” Jim said, helping Dan up again. Phil stuck to his right, wrapping an arm protectively around his waist, while Jim held onto his arm.  
“I’m fine, honestly!” Dan protested, but they simply guided him along.  
Once back to the Brown’s house, they let themselves in. Jim stuck his head around the door of the living room, greeting Mrs. Brown. She got up out of her chair, and led Jim into the kitchen for a catch up, leaving Phil to help Dan up the stairs, and into his bedroom.  
“I’m alright you know. You don’t have to hold onto me. I just bruised myself.” Dan said as they entered the room.  
“Sorry.” Phil said, dropping his arm, which had been pressed to the small of Dan’s back the whole time. “I, eh, I like your room.” he said, looking around. Dan had been doing a bit of decorating since he moved in, adding a few plants and pinning tickets and a map to the walls.   
“Thanks.” Dan said. They stood in awkward silence, Dan sitting on his bed looking at his feet, and Phil playing with his hands.   
“So, Christmas is soon.” Phil said after a moment. Dan looked up, nodding.  
“Yeah. A week.”  
“Are you going home for it?”   
“No. I’m here for the holidays.”  
“Ah, so am I. I’ll be able to come see you act.” Phil said quietly. Dan smiled at the thought of Phil being in the front row, cheering him on.   
“Yeah. I’m not really feeling at all nervous yet. Just excited. It’s been a while since I’ve done any acting.” Dan said.  
“You’ll be brilliant, I’m sure.” Phil smiled. “Anyway, I suppose I’d better go. I hope your back stops hurting. I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
“See you tomorrow Phil. And thanks, for everything.” Dan said, smiling at him. Phil gave a little smile in return, and headed back down stairs. Dan lay back, sighing. I suppose there are worse things I could do than fall for someone like Phil.

* * *

Monday, 25th December, 1944. 19:55

The last week before Christmas flew past with nothing really happening. Even the German  messages being intercepted held almost nothing but ‘Frohe Weihnachten”’s. Dan spent much of the last week putting the final touches on his performance, and putting on the last few dress rehearsals. He no longer had time to go out with his friends, but Phil still waited for him to finish practice before walking him home.   
And then finally, it was Christmas. The day was spent as usual, intercepting messages, although there were so few that one person could handle it all. Then, as the evening rolled around, the play would be put on for the first time.

“Daniel, stop fidgeting!” Dan heard someone hiss at him. He was backstage, dressed in his costume, waiting to go onstage. He had begun to panic a bit, and obviously it was showing, as Zoe, who was playing Juliet, was giving him stern looks from where she sat fixing her makeup. But Dan couldn’t stop. His head was spinning, a mixture of thoughts that screamed at him: You’re going to mess this up. Phil is there. Phil’s going to watch you make a fool of yourself.  
And then suddenly, he was onstage. The crowd all saw him, but he only saw one of them: Phil Lester, front row, third from the centre, beaming at Dan, a mixture of pride, joy and hope all wrapped into one. So Dan stepped out further onto the stage, opened his mouth, and damn well gave the greatest performance of his life.

“Dan! You were brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!” Louise was squealing.   
“Fantastic.” Chris said, clapping him on the back.  
“Well done, lad!” Jim said, Tanya nodding in agreement.   
“Really well done!” Hazel nodded. Dan thanked them all, but it was Phil’s comment that made his heart swell:  
“It was amazing. You’re amazing.” Phil said, pulling Dan in for a hug. Louise smiled discreetly, almost to herself, but of course Dan caught it. He smiled too, pulling away.   
“Thanks everyone. Now, I believe the first thing to do is exchange presents?” he said, reaching for his satchel. Louise had organised a ‘Secret Santa’ between them, and they had arranged to exchange them after the play in the local pub. Dan had gotten Tanya, and had bought her her favourite red lipstick, with help from Jim, and a book. He handed them over to her, and she tore open the packaging. She cheered when she saw the lipstick, thanking him, as she had ‘almost run out’. Next, she gave her present to Chris, which was a new sweater. Chris had purchased PJ a new roll of film for his camera, while PJ got Hazel a pretty pin for her hair. Hazel bought Louise new stockings, and she in turn had bought Jim a few pairs of woolly socks. Jim bought Phil a new scarf (his old one had long since been adopted by Dan, who Phil had insisted needed it more). Which, Dan deduced quickly after Jim handed his present to Phil, meant that Phil had Dan. He opened the gift carefully, aware that everyone was watching. Inside was a box. When Dan opened it, he found it was a wrist watch, with a white and gold face and a brown leather strap.  
“It was my father’s best friends’ watch. He never had any children of his own, and before he died he gave it to my father, and told him to pass it on to whichever son got his own watch, and to tell them to give it to their own best friend.” Phil explained sheepishly. “It’s a bit silly, but it’s a really decent watch and I know you hate having to use your pocket watch.”  
“No Phil, honestly, I love it. It’s really great. I’m your best friend?” Dan asked, picking the watch up.  
“Well, yeah.” Phil shrugged. Dan had never felt happier.

That night, as they walked home together, Dan honestly felt as though he was walking on air. He had a best friend, and that best friend was Phil. And as he lay in bed that night, he only had one thought on his mind. _Phil Lester. I am in love with Phil Lester._

* * *

Sunday, 31st December, 1944. 22:25. (New Year’s Eve)

New Year’s Eve came around quickly once Christmas was over, and once again, Dan found himself sitting in the local pub. Phil sat beside him now, shoulder to shoulder, despite the fact there was plenty more room on the bench. It was something he had started to do a lot, and it hadn’t gone unnoticed by Dan. In fact, Dan noticed a lot of things about Phil that were different lately. He would often find him whispering with Louise, only for them to stop talking altogether when they’d notice Dan. When they’d walk home, Phil’s hands would brush off Dan’s more often than not, and he’d blush when it happened. On the few occasions where girls had started up a conversation with Dan, Phil would always find a reason to interrupt and guide Dan away.   
“Okay, now you know that me and Tanya have been together for quite a while. Almost two years, in fact!” Jim said suddenly, interrupting Dan’s train of thought. “So, I want to give Tanya a very special gift tonight.”  
“Oi, not here!” Chris exclaimed, and everyone laughed, while Tanya went red.   
“You need to wash out your mouth, Chris Kendall.” PJ chuckled.   
“Anyway.” Jim said, regaining attention before returning to his speech. “I want to give her this. It’s very important to me and my family, but I want her to have it.” He took a small red box out of his pocket, sliding it across the table to her. She bit her lip, opening it carefully. She gasped, eyes widening, hand flying to her mouth before she looked up at Jim, who was now on one knee in front of her. Everyone held their breaths. “It was my grandmothers, and I was told to give it to the woman I’d marry. So will you, Tanya Burr, do me the honor of being my wife?”  
There was a pause, as Tanya teared up. “Of course!” she cried, and Jim got up, sweeping her into a hug. They all clapped and cheered as the two embraced.   
“This calls for drinks!” Chris said, flagging down the barman.

Later that night, and quite a few pints later, Dan found himself stumbling out of the pub with Phil.   
“I think I just spent my entire week’s wages.” he giggled, gripping tightly onto Phil’s arm as they began to walk. “I don’t think I’ve ever had so many drinks.”   
“Have you ever been drunk before?” Phil asked, chuckling. He wasn’t quite drunk, but he was certainly feeling the effects of the alcohol he’d had.   
“Noooo.” Dan replied, swaying a bit as the cold air hit him. “I’m only nineteen _Philly_.”    
“Don’t call me Philly… _Danny._ ” Phil said, smirking. Dan punched him on the arm sloppily.  
“You’re not funny.” he slurred, and Phil just laughed.   
“I think I am.” he said. “C’mon, let’s get you home, it’s past your bedtime.”   
“I don’t have a bedtime. I already told you. I’m _nineteen._ ” Dan replied. “ _Adult._ ” he added, pointing to himself for emphasis. Phil bit his lip, trying not to laugh.  
“Alright, alright. Let’s go.” he snickered, ushering Dan forward. Dan took a big step forward, and almost immediately tripped over his foot. Phil reached out, catching him.   
“Whoops!” Dan giggled.   
“Maybe a bit too enthusiastic.” Phil said.   
“Hold on to me?” Dan asked, almost whining. Phil glanced around before wrapping his arm around Dan’s back.   
“Okay, I’ve got you.” he said, leading Dan forward, as he rested his head on Phil’s shoulder, silently smiling to himself. Phil couldn’t help himself from smiling at how content Dan looked, and prayed he wouldn’t notice how his heart beat a little bit quicker.   
As they stood at the doorway of Mrs. Brown’s, Dan began humming a song that Phil recognised as he searched his pockets for his key.  
“What song is that?” he asked Dan.   
“Who’s taking you home tonight…” Dan sang. “After the dance is through…”  
“Oh, Vera Lynn. Didn’t think you liked her much. Too romantic.” Phil smiled. “Who’s going to hold you tight, and whisper I love you, I do…” he sang in reply. Dan turned around to face him again as he continued the next line. “Who’s the lucky girl that’s going your way, to kiss you goodnight at your doorway…”  
“Who’s taking you home tonight, darling it’s plain to see…” Dan sang, quieter now, expression unreadable as he stared forward, almost staring past Phil.  
“I’m pleading, please, let it… be… me…” Phil said in barely a whisper. They were standing close, too close. Dan stared up at Phil, eyes widening as he noticed the look on his face. Phil was biting his lip, eyes not meeting Dan’s. Instead, they were focused on Dan’s lips, which he now licked nervously, causing Phil’s eyes to flicker upwards. Time seemed to stand almost still, as Phil took a step in towards Dan, who felt his heart begin to beat faster. Phil took Dan’s chin in his hands, not breaking eye contact.  
 _Oh shit._ Dan thought, as Phil leaned forward, tilting Dan’s mouth up, closing the gap between them.  
And then, almost as if on queue, a cat streaked out of the bushes, running between them, causing Phil to pull away in alarm. There was a pause.  
“Phil, I-” Dan began, breaking the silence, but was cut off.  
“Fuck, Dan, sorry, that, that didn’t mean anything, I have to go.” Phil said, backing away from Dan, turning and walking quickly away. Dan stood on the doorstep, watching Phil as he disappeared without looking back. He felt both as though his heart was beating so fast it would fly out of his chest, and like his heart had stopped beating altogether. He quickly gathered himself together, heading back inside, closing the door quietly and heading up the stairs as fast as he could. Once in his room, he shut the door, leaning against it before sinking to the ground. His breath came in short, jagged bursts as he tried to stop himself from falling apart, but once the first tear fell, he realised his efforts were futile, and he allowed himself to sob, sitting there on the floor with his head between his knees. When he finally dragged himself into bed, he lay awake for most of the night, replaying what had happened over and over in his mind, agonising over every little detail. There was no doubt that Phil had been about to kiss him, but what did it mean? _Was it just the alcohol? Or are my feelings requited after all?_


	3. Part 3 - January 1945

January, 1945

The next two weeks felt like a nightmare to Dan. His work remained terribly mundane, with only three important messages being intercepted. It was 1945, and it was starting to become clear that the war would soon be at an end. Hitler was in hiding, the Russians had reached Poland, and the rest of the Allies were fast closing in on the Germans. But Dan, albeit guiltily, felt far more concerned about the conflict he was facing in his everyday life. Ever since they had almost kissed on the doorstep, Phil had been avoiding him at all costs. He never came to any of their nights out, taking up extra shifts to provide himself with an excuse. If he saw Dan coming in his direction, he would turn around or cross the road. But it was the walks home that were the worst for Dan. The silence, interrupted only by the occasional car or the crunch of snow under his feet, was what bothered him the most. He was alone with only his thoughts, and he felt nothing but misery as he walked along. He missed Phil’s little jokes, his useless facts about the stars, and his stories about his childhood in the North. He missed Phil.   
He had spoken to Louise about what had happened, and she had been at a loss as to what he should do.   
So he did nothing. He drifted through every day, trying not to let himself be too upset. But it was clear that he was too in love with Phil to be apart from him, and it was awful knowing that Phil didn’t want to be anywhere near him. 

* * *

Saturday, 20th January, 1945 18:00

“Attention all!” Jim called. Dan looked up from his work, expecting something to be wrong, but instead, Jim was smiling proudly. “We just received a telegram from the Prime Minister. The Battle of the Bulge is finally over. We’ve won.” he announced. Applause broke out around the hut, with a few people whooping and cheering. “The army will continue their advance towards Germany.”  
 _Oh thank God._ Dan thought. _Hopefully this bloody war will be over soon and I can head back home, and forget all about Ph-_  
“Dan! Can you run over to Hut 6 and tell them? I’ve to head over to Hut 2.” Jim called, interrupting Dan’s thoughts.   
“Me? Hut 6? Can’t I go to Hut 2?” he said.   
“Oh, c’mon Danny. It’ll take two minutes.”  
“Fine.” Dan huffed, getting up and taking the telegram from Jim. He walked slowly to Hut 6, shaking a bit. He had been doing a good job of avoiding Phil, but he knew that he was working his shift now. He knocked on the door, taking a few deep breaths.   
Just his luck, Phil answered.  
“Oh. Eh, Phil.” Dan said, immediately turning pink. “I, em, have a telegram. Very important. Could you, erm, could you let me through, please?” he said, gesturing in the direction of the room inside. Phil nodded, moving aside to let Dan through.   
He read his announcement quickly, feeling Phil’s gaze on his. As he read that the Allies had won, a cheer went up again. Everyone began talking excitedly, and as Dan was about to leave, Phil pulled him in for a one armed hug. Shocked, Dan almost missed what Phil whispered to him.  
“Meet me behind Hut 11 after your shift. We need to talk.” he said, and Dan felt goosebumps rise on his arms. He nodded, too shook up to think straight, and quickly left.

When the bell rang for a shift change, Dan almost jumped out of his skin. He’d been so focused on his work, trying to distract himself from the mixture of excitement and fear he was feeling. _What does Phil want? Has he decided it was a mistake? Or, what if maybe he wants to tell me to stay far away from him? What if he told someone, and I’m going to be arrested!_  
Panic began to set in a bit as he headed to where Phil had told him to be. It was starting to get dark out already, and that didn’t help Dan’s nerves at all. Nor did the clinking sound of machines coming from inside Hut 11. He bit his lip, looking around. There was no sign of anyone.   
“Dan.” a voice from behind him said. He turned around slowly. Phil stood there, awkwardly playing with his hands.   
“Phil…” he replied.  
“I, I want to apologise, first of all, for avoiding you. It was unfair.”  
“Mmm…” Dan said, still on edge.   
“I want to explain why I did that.” Phil continued. “You see… I’ve never really had a best friend before. And I didn’t really understand that there was a difference between being best friends… and being something more. So I just pushed any unusual thoughts away, and convinced myself that you were just a friend.” he said, taking a deep breath before going on. “So on New Year's’ Eve, when all I wanted to do was kiss you, I panicked. The feeling of wanting you was so overwhelming, so new to me, so… so right, that I ran. And ran. And the only way I could stop myself from being in that position again was to avoid you. But I can’t. The last few weeks have killed me. All I can think about is you, Dan. I don’t care if it’s wrong. It feels right. So, if you’re willing to give me a chance, maybe we could find a way to make this work.”  
Dan was silent for a moment, a bit too stunned to say anything. It feels right. The words played over and over in his mind, before he finally nodded his head. Phil smiled shyly, and Dan’s heart began to race. Slowly, Phil stepped closer to Dan, taking his hand in his. His eyes flickered back and forth, studying Dan’s once again.   
“I’d like to kiss you now, if you’d let me.” Phil whispered. Again, all Dan could do was nod. With the slight nod of consent, Phil shoved Dan back against the wall of the hut, cupping his face in his hands as he pressed their mouths together. Dan’s pulse quickened, and he felt as though he couldn’t breathe at first. As he slowly relaxed, he began to return the kiss, but allowed Phil to take control as the kiss deepened. Dan’s arms snaked around Phil’s neck, whose arm had moved to Dan’s waist.  
Suddenly, there were voices from the other side of the hut, and Phil froze, before pulling away quickly, leaving Dan confused and breathless against the wall. Phil signalled for Dan to be quiet as he took a few steps back. After a moment or two of silence, the voices faded, and Dan released the breath he’d been holding. Phil exhaled sharply, shaking his head.  
“That was close,” he said, moving towards Dan again. “If we do this, Dan, we’ll have to be careful. I mean, it’s not exactly legal, is it.” he said, and although he sounded stern, Dan could sense a shakiness in his voice that told him that Phil was secretly terrified.   
“Phil.” Dan said, taking Phil’s hand into his own. “Phil, it’s alright. We’ll be alright. We’ll be careful.”  
“I’m sorry. I’m just…” Phil shook his head, trailing off. Dan gave his hand a gentle squeeze. Phil smiled at him, pushing his glasses back up his nose, and squeezed back.   
And Dan swore, in that moment, he was the happiest he’d ever been.

* * *

Tuesday, January 30th, 1945. 14:25

“Happy birthday dear Phil… Happy birthday to you!” Dan sang alongside his friends, as Phil blew out the solitary candle on top of the little cake that Jim’s friend Margaret had made for them. Phil beamed.   
“Thank you so much, you guys didn’t have to do this!” he said, hugging them all in turn. He hugged Dan quickly, whispering “I have a surprise for you too.” as he pulled away to hug Hazel. Dan blushed as he caught Louise’s eye. She know all about them, of course, now that they were an item, and had been fussing over Dan ever since he told her, making sure he was dealing with the secrecy well. Louise raised her eyebrow and tried to conceal her smirk. Dan looked away, pretending not to have noticed, as Phil began to cut into the cake and share it around.

“I can’t believe you’re 24 now.” Dan said to Phil, as they sat together on the bank of the lake. The sun was beginning to go down, painting the sky with a pink hue. The snow had melted away, but it was still cold. Dan tugged at the scarf Phil had given him. “Maybe you’re too old for me. I mean, five years is a big difference…” he said, gazing into the distance for dramatic effect.   
“Oh, be quiet. It’s only four and a half. Besides, you love me too much to care.” Phil smirked, shoving Dan lightly. Dan grinned at him.   
“Do I now?”   
“Yes. And you’re going to prove it by coming with me to the cinema in Milton Keynes tonight. Dress sharp, I’ll pick you up at eight.” Phil said, getting onto his feet. “See you then!“  
"But wait, what are we going to see?”  
“I’ll tell you later! Just be ready!” Phil chuckled, practically skipping away.   
Dan smiled as he watched him leave. I’m so lucky. He thought to himself, before getting up to head home.

Eight o'clock seemed to take forever to come around, and by the time it did, Dan was a nervous wreck. Sitting on the edge of his bed, wearing his favourite dress shirt and sweater, twiddling his thumbs and trying to ignore the butterflies. This was their first date. Sure, they’d been on plenty of walks around Bletchley, been to the pub alone together once or twice… But it was nothing that felt special. It was silly, but he couldn’t help the feeling. Knowing he was going to be in a dark cinema with Phil was giving him palpitations. _Even if all we can do is hold hands, this is going to be amazing. Phil is amazing. Life is amazing._ He lay back on the bed, grinning to himself, picking up the small package on the bed beside him that contained Phils present. _You’d really forget there was even a war on. He sighed, still beaming. This is embarrassing. Look at me. I can’t stop grinning. God, I am so in love._  
Hearing a knock on the door a moment later, he sat bolt upright, grabbing his coat. He had to stop and steady himself for a moment, the room spinning from jumping up too fast. I’m like a giggly schoolgirl. He laughed, shaking his head and heading out the door.

Once outside, Dan was barely able to contain his excitement.   
“C’mon Phil, what are we going to see? This isn’t fair!” He whined, as Phil shook his head and smirked.   
They got the bus from the edge of the village, and once at the cinema, Phil insisted on buying Dans ticket.   
“But it’s your birthday!” Dan protested, but Phil just shook his head.   
“Exactly, and I want this to be a proper date. That’s my birthday present, okay?” Phil whispered to him, handing him his ticket.   
“Well, I did get you something small.” Dan said, fingers brushing off the package that was concealed in his coat pocket.   
“Dan! We talked about this! I said not to get me anything.”   
“Yeah, but I couldn’t resist when I saw this. It’s only something small.” Dan said, smiling shyly at Phil. Grinning, Phil ripped the paper open, revealing a photo album inside.  
“Dan, how? This is amazing.” Phil said, flicking through the pages.  
“I got them off PJ. I knew he’d been taking loads every time we went out, and there were quite a few of us.” Dan replied, blushing.  
“I love it.” Phil whispered, and Dan might as well have been on cloud nine.

Two hours later, they emerged from the dark cinema, bleary eyed and tear stained.   
“Phil… You didn’t tell me that was going to be a sad romance movie! She’s going to die in a few months! The piano pieces! She’ll never be afraid again!” Dan sobbed.   
“I’m sorry! I didn’t realise it was going to be so sad! Louise recommended it! I thought a movie called ‘Love Story’ was a safe enough gamble!” Phil said, patting Dan gently on the back.   
“Bloody Louise.” Dan said, wiping his eyes. “I’m okay now.”   
“Well, I’m afraid I have more bad news. The bus just pulled away…” Phil said, looking out the window of the cinema.   
“Was it the last one?” Dan said, checking his watch. “Ten… Yes, the last one. Looks like we’re walking.” He laughed.   
“It’s almost an hours walk!” Dan whined, but he smiled, knowing that the walk through the empty countryside would mean stolen kisses behind trees, something they always seemed to be doing now.  

The first drop came about twenty minutes into the walk. Then another, and another. Before they knew it, the rain was teeming down.  
“C’mon, let’s see if we can find shelter! I think I saw a barn on the way here- it can’t be too far!” Phil shouted, grabbing Dan’s hand and pulling him along. They ran down the road, as a fork of lightning streaked across the sky. The clap of thunder that followed made Dan’s skin crawl, but Phil just laughed, squeezing his hand tighter.   
“Just a little further Dan, don’t worry! Look- there’s the barn there!” He shouted over the sound of the thunder, pointing towards an old wooden barn that was illuminated by another flash of lighting.   
They streaked through the field, the wet grass soaking Into Dan’s shoes. Finally reaching the barn, Phil tried the door.   
“It’s locked.” He said, shoving against it.   
“There’s a window there, maybe we can get through that?” Dan said, pointing to an opening where the remains of a window frame could be seen.   
“Oh. Here, I’ll give you a leg up!” Phil said, hurrying over to the ledge. He hoisted Dan up, who swung his legs over. Once in position, he pulled Phil up beside him, and the dropped down into a pile of hay below them, giggling and laughing.   
“Well, that was let exactly what I’d planned. A nice romance movie and a night time stroll turned into, well, a disaster.” Phil laughed, lying back in the hay. His face was lit up by another flash of lightning, and Dan felt his stomach twist. _He’s so beautiful._ He thought, leaning over and kissing Phil softly. Phil seemed taken by surprise, as Dan rarely initiated anything, but he kissed him back, relaxing back and allowing Dan to take the lead for once. The kiss deepened, and Dan felt the tug in his stomach again as Phil traced his hand down Dan’s back. And suddenly he couldn’t take it anymore. He kissed along Phil’s neck, biting softly as Phil let out a gentle sigh, gripping tighter to Dan’s back. Dan pulled away, long enough to pull Phils soaked sweater off, before reconnecting his mouth to Phil’s neck, who gasped again.   
Suddenly, Phil took back control, pushing back up against Dan and flipping them over, so that he was hovering above Dan instead.   
“Dan.” He said, eyes darkened.   
“Yes?” Dan said, feeling his heartbeat racing in his chest. He knew where he wanted this night to go, and could now see Phil wanted it too.   
“I love you.” Phil said.   
“I love you too.” Dan replied, playing with the bottom button of Phil’s shirt. “Are we doing this?” He asked, running his hand under the hem, along the waistline of Phils trousers.   
“If you want.” Phil said, voice barely a whisper now. Dan simply nodded. Phil pressed their mouths together again, pushing Dan down into the pile of hay, tugging at his lip. Dan put his arms up, allowing Phil to remove his shirt. Phil pressed his lips to Dan’s neck.  
“I love you, Dan.” He whispered between kisses. “I love you.”   
“Happy Birthday, Phil.”

Later that night, Dan’s arm draped lazily over Phil’s chest as he began to slip into sleep. Phil played with Dan’s hair, twisting the curls gently around his fingers.  
“I’m going to marry you, someday, Daniel Howell.” he whispered, so quiet that Dan couldn’t hear it, and they both fell asleep like that, tangled together with smiles on their faces.


	4. Part 4 - February 1945

Tuesday, 13th February, 1945

“So, how are things with you and Phil?” Louise asked, sipping at her tea. Dan sighed.  
“I think he’s just… very anxious about us.” he said, stirring his spoon around. “The war is coming to an end, but that means we’re both going home. We won’t see each other all the time, but writing letters could be risky if they’re opened. I suggested I move up north, maybe go to the University of Manchester to study Law instead, but even then we can’t ever really be together.”   
“I see.” Louise nodded. “I know it must be hard for you two, all this sneaking around, not being able to tell anyone about it.”  
“It’s awful. I just want to be able to hold his hand in public, to tell my parents I’ve finally met someone, show him off to my friends. How can people think that this is wrong?” Dan whined, putting his face in his hands. Louise gently patted his hand.  
“I know, sweetie. I don’t understand it either. I’ve never seen two people more suited to each other than you two, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people more in love.”  
“I just want to be with him, Louise. The more I’m with him, the more sure I am that this is what I want. I want to be able to do what Tanya and Jim can do. Get married, buy a house together somewhere, and grow old and happy with him.” Dan said, in barely a whisper, swallowing the lump in his throat. Seeing Phil approaching them from the doorway, he wiped his eyes, straightened up in his seat, and took a gulp of his tea, before plastering a smile on his face. Louise gave him a concerned look, before her mouth split into a wide smile.  
“Well, if it isn’t my favourite Phil Lester!” she said. Phil laughed, pulling out the chair beside Dan and sitting down.  
“I’m the only Phil Lester you know, Louise.” he said. “How are you, Dan?”  
“Fine!” Dan said, taking another sip of tea. Phil’s smile faltered a bit at Dan’s tone of voice. Louise took this moment to announce her departure.   
“I’ve got to head back to work, I’ll see you both later!” she said, getting up from her seat so quickly that she almost knocked over her cup.   
“Dan, what’s wrong?” Phil asked as soon as she was out of earshot. “Are you mad at me?”  
“No, no. I’m fine. Just work stress.” Dan said, forcing a smile.   
“You’re lying.” Phil said, more of a statement than a question, and he prompted Dan no further. “I have news.”  
“Good, or bad?” Dan asked, hesitant.  
“Both. The bad news is, you have an extra shift tonight.” Phil said.   
“What? Why?” Dan began to protest, but Phil held up a hand to silence him.  
“The good news is, I’ve booked us tomorrow until Sunday off to go to London.” Phil smiled.  
“Really! That’s great!” Dan said, genuinely grinning now. His heart fluttered a little. “ _Five_ days? Where are we staying? How did you get that?”  
“I have a friend who’s going home up North for the weekend, and he’s leaving tomorrow afternoon once he gives me his key. And as far as anyone else is concerned, you’re visiting your sick aunt and asked me to come with you for moral support…”  
“So… we’ll have the flat to ourselves…” Dan said quietly, hoping Phil would pick up on what he was asking. Phil smirked, nodding.   
“Happy Valentine’s Day.” he whispered. Dan flushed. “Now, off with you. Your shift starts in ten, I believe. Thank Louise when you see her for swapping with you.”

* * *

Friday, 16th February, 1945

Dan sat on the edge of the bed, buttoning up his shirt. Phil was in the bathroom, humming and brushing his teeth. It was 4 in the afternoon, and Dan was basking in how domestic this all felt. Wednesday, they’d gotten off the train, found Phil’s friend’s flat, dropped their bags in the hallway and discarded their clothes on the stairs, but this felt like the calm after a storm, and as he watched Phil coming back, wearing only a towel, hair wet from the shower and a grin on his face that could power all of London, he couldn’t help but crack a smile of his own.  
“What are you so happy about?” Phil asked, pulling a shirt out of his case.   
“I love you.” Dan said. Phil turned to him, dropping the shirt on the ground and launching himself at Dan. “No no no! You’re all wet!” Dan squealed, giggling like a teenage girl around the cutest boy in school. But in that moment, that’s exactly how he felt, and it was bliss.  
Phil had him pinned down now, straddling him, nose pressed against Dan’s forehead.  
“I love you too.” he said, pressing a kiss to his nose, then his lips. “Now, get dressed.” he said, pulling himself off the bed.   
“Excuse me, you’re one to talk.” Dan said, nodding at Phil, who’d lost his towel in the process of tackling Dan to the bed. Phil just laughed, grabbing his shirt off the floor and pulling it on, followed by his pants.   
The last two days had been like this, and they’d barely left the flat, only going out to get food, like they were now. The rest of the time had been spent equally between the bedroom and the couch, where they curled up listening to the wireless.   
“Where are we going tonight, Phil?” Dan asked, fixing his hair in the mirror, trying to flatten down his curls.   
“Not sure.” Phil replied, studying his guidebook he’d bought in the train station. “There’s a bistro just around the corner that could be nice, or a pub one stop over on the tube.”   
“How about the pub? We can walk instead, it’s a nice evening.”   
“Yeah, sounds good to me. And stop trying to flatten your curls. They’re cute, I keep telling you.” Phil said, getting up and walking over to Dan.  
“I don’t like them.” Dan huffed. “I look like my grandmother.”  
“Well then your grandmother must be an attractive woman.” Phil whispered, wrapping his arms around Dan’s waist and planting a kiss on his neck. Dan shivered. “Phiil. Not now. We literally just got dressed. And don’t talk in that tone when you talk about my grandmother.”  
“What tone?” Phil whispered, smirking at Dan’s reflection, which was one of someone holding back certain, obscene sounds. He kissed Dan’s neck again.  
“That one, you bastard, all hoarse and throaty.” Dan snapped, but it turned to another shudder. “Phil, I mean it- aah.” he let out a small squeak as Phil nibbled on his neck.   
“Alright, alright.” Phil said, pulling away. “I’ll stop. Let’s get food, I’m starving. But we’ll need to skip dessert.” he added with a smirk. Dan blushed. Phil had never been this flirty before, but the last few days he’d been all over Dan at any opportunity. Dan didn’t mind, he knew the reason behind it. He just didn’t want to think about it.

The walk to the pub was pleasant. The air was chill, but it was beginning to get brighter in the evenings now. Once there, they had a pleasant meal of beef and potatoes, with all the trimmings, and a pint each. Dan really didn’t think life could get any better.He couldn’t wait to get home again, and nearly dragged Phil out the door after they’d paid the bill.

Dan knew something wasn’t right. The night was eerily still, and there weren’t many people around. Those that they passed seemed to be in a hurry to get home. They were getting near to the tube stop, but Dan felt very on edge.    
“Phil, isn’t it rather quie-”. A shrill siren noise filled the air around them, cutting Dan off. He could hear the droning noise of a plane approaching.  
“Shit. Shit!” Phil said, grabbing Dan’s hand. “C’mon, we have to get shelter! Quickly, hurry!” They began to run in the direction of the tube station, but something in the air screamed, too loudly, and Dan skidded to a halt.  
“No, Phil, wait-” he shouted, and a few hundred meters ahead, a house was blown to bits as it was hit by a bomb. Dan’s heart raced. They were too close to where bombs were falling. Frantically, he scanned the area, noticing a garden gate unlocked. An Anderson shelter was in plain view. “Phil! Here!” he screamed, and Phil grabbed his hand again, running towards it. They knocked frantically on the door, and it opened.   
“Come in, quickly!” A woman said, glancing at the sky. Dan stepped inside, but as he did a small dog streaked out from between his legs.  
“Billy!” a little girl screamed, as the dog ran towards the house.   
“I’ll get it! Hold on!” Phil said, sprinting off after it.   
“Phil, no!” Dan shouted, trying to go after him. Phil disappeared into the house, as a whistling filled the air. Dan could only freeze, and look on in horror as the rocket fell through the air towards the house. Time seemed to slow down as Dan stood there, rooted to the spot, hearing the family behind him screaming at him to get down. And then suddenly, everything was smoke and fire and rubble thrown in all directions. Dan too was thrown back, and when he hit the ground, his last thought was of Phil, before everything went black.


	5. Epilogue

Thursday, 10th May 1945

“Dan! So good to see you!” Louise said, placing a large bouquet of flowers onto the table beside Dan’s bed. He sat up to allow her give him a hug. He was still pretty bandaged up. Four broken ribs, a fractured shoulder, a broken leg and a broken arm, as well as severe bruising, both internally and externally. The doctors told him it was a miracle he’s lived, and he was lucky he hadn’t died. _Lucky._ Dan had almost laughed in their faces. Sure, he was alive, but he’s watched the man he loved be blown up in front of his eyes. He woke up most nights screaming and sweating after reliving it over and over in his dreams, and sometimes during the day he’d relive it awake, and would have to be sedated to stop him from screaming and kicking.  
But now the war was over, and being surrounded by his friends was starting to cheer him up. He’d only been visited by his parents once, and knowing that they too understood how devastating the loss of Phil felt gave him comfort.  
He smiled as Louise fussed over him, asking him a barrage of questions. She was accompanied by Jim, Chris, PJ and Hazel, who had brought gifts and well wishes from the others too. Jim had brought a cake, and Hazel had managed to get a hold of some soda. They toasted to the end of the war, to the restoration of peace, and to the future.  
“And to Phil.” Louise had said, and was repeated.  
“To Phil.”

As the sun set that night, and visiting hour ended, Dan leaned over to his table. On it sat a framed photo of Dan, Phil, and Louise, taken by PJ on New Year’s Eve. Beside it sat two letters. One was an acceptance letter from the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art, where Dan was enrolled for the following September. He had applied sometime in January, and the letter had arrived a few days ago, forwarded on from Mrs. Brown, alongside a new book. On top of that, however, was a letter from Phil, given to him by Louise. He didn’t want to open it. He knew that this letter was it, the end of it. After this there would be nothing left. Phil would be truly gone, never to speak to Dan again.  
With shaky hands, he opened it, unfolding it carefully, as if it might crumble under his touch.

 _My dearest Dan,_  
_I hope you are not reading this letter. If you are, then I am sorry. Truly, terribly sorry that I am not there with you anymore, because if you are reading this, it means I’m dead. And that’s a scary thing to write, but the chance is there. I gave it to Louise because I trust her to never let this fall into any hands but yours. So here goes._  
 _I am writing this letter on the day after my 24th birthday. The best birthday I’ve ever had. And not just because we ended up in that barn. Although that was certainly a bonus. No, it was the best birthday I’ve ever had because for once, I felt like I really had a place._  
 _I never talked much about my life before Bletchley. Before you. If I were alive, I would have told you all this eventually._  
 _At home, I was a happy child. I was happy most of my early life. I got good grades, I had friends, and a loving family. I graduated with excellent results and I was off to Oxford. It was in Oxford that I had my first relationship. I mentioned to you on Halloween as we walked home that I had been in love once- this was that time. His name was James. Your middle name, but that’s where the similarities end. He was taller than me, with blonde hair and green eyes. And I was smitten. But he was not. It became one sided, and eventually he turned on me, telling me that if I didn’t give him everything he wanted, he’d report me. Those were the hardest five years of my life. And when that relationship ended at last, with his drowning in a lake after drinking too much the night we graduated, I swore I would never fall in love again. I rejected every girl Louise tried to set me up with, no matter how funny or intelligent or beautiful._  
 _And then I saw you. The day Louise introduced me to you outside my hut and your eyes met mine, I knew I was a goner. Your cute little smile and the faint blush on your cheeks had me smitten. I offered to walk you home, foolishly I thought at first, but now I know it was right. Because I am so in love with you, Daniel James Howell, and a little thing like death isn’t going to stop me loving you. I still do, even if you can no longer see me or he me, and I you. But know that I love you, every little thing about you. I love your clumsiness and how shy you are. I love the way that both of those traits disappear as you step on stage. Your dimple, your curls, your laugh and the way you looked that night in the barn as you fell asleep. That night, I swore I’d marry you someday. I know that can never happen, certainly not now, but the offer remains nonetheless._  
 _I hope that when you’re reading this the war is over. I wish I could be there to see that day, to hold you hand and celebrate. I hope that you are thinking of me. However, I don’t expect you to pine for me. I don’t want you to live out your days alone, mourning me. I want you to fall in love again, with another man, or a woman. I want you to pursue your dreams. Get on that big screen. Grow old, and be happy. But promise me you’ll still hold me in your heart somewhere._  
 _Because I love you forever, Dan, and of that you can be sure._  
 _Yours always,_  
 _Phil_                                                                                              

Dan folded the letter back up, letting go of a tear. For the first time since that night, Dan was glad he was alive. Phil was gone, but he still loved Dan. And that was more than enough to give Dan hope. He picked up his acceptance letter, sliding Phil’s into the envelope. He set the letters back down on to his table, looking at the photo of them and smiling.  
“I love you too Phil.” he whispered, before falling into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for reading this fic. Let me know if you liked/ didn't like it! It's also available (hopefully with the art attached by the time you read this) on my tumblr, which is whatkindofphanfics. Cool. Thanks again to my beta and artist, we did it you guys!!!!!!!1

**Author's Note:**

> 9 months later and we have a baby... a fic that is. This was orginally written for the Phandom Big Bang 2015 but I completely missed the deadline. In fact, I'd never have gotten it finished at all if it wasn't for my brilliant beta, Gerard (wattpad: creepymikey) and my amazing artist, Beth, and their confidence, patience and encouragement. I may not have made the deadline, but I made two amazing friends. Thanks forever and always you guys.


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